Hello Taio! This is my first time on a dating website, thanks for messaging me!

Now listen to me baby
Before I love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don’t wanna deceive you

Well I suppose honesty is an admirable quality in a potential suitor.

If you fall for me
I’m not easy to please

A bit presumptuous at this stage, but fair enough. We all have our flaws.

Imma tear you apart.

…what?

Told you from the start, baby from the start

You told me you weren’t easy to please. The threat of physical violence is an entirely different matter. Are you serious?

I’m only gonna break break ya break break ya heart

Yes I got that bit, but ‘tear me apart’? You didn’t put sadomasochistic tendencies on your list of hobbies.

Woah Woah

Don’t get defensive.

There’s not point trying to hide it
No point trying to evade it

Well I’m glad you’re willing to accept your issues. Have you considered therapy?

I know I got a problem
Problem with misbehaviour

Misbehaviour? It’s a bit more than misbehavour!

I’m only gonna break break ya break break ya heart

Heartbreak isn’t my main concern right now, you mentalist.

Woah Woah
Woah Woah

Don’t sound so shocked. You’re cleary unhinged.

And I know karma’s gonna get me back for being so cold

The criminal justice system will probably get you first.

Like a big bad wolf I’m born to be bad and bad to the bone

You should put this on your dating profile. For the sake of clarity.

If you fall for me I’m only gonna tear you apart

NOT ON YOUR LIFE, SUNSHINE.

Told ya from the start.

No. You didn’t.

I’m only gonna break break ya break break ya heart

I don’t think we should date, Taio.

Woah woah woah

Wanker.